The Long Story: How Ron Lost His Mojo
by Juliette
Summary: Answer to METMA challenge! There are a few chapters but it is all there! A very pointless story about a Japanese Herbologist who comes to Hogwarts when Professor Sinistra does something stupid. The title is a little misleading, sorry. Please r/r, all com
1. Prologue - Coffee Beans Didn't Keep Me A...

Ok, considering I helped Mandy write the new challenge, and I had no plans to do it this week, but Mandy BEGGED me, so here it is. This fic has nothing to do with my other challenge series. It is going to be a few parts. Please review all parts * ~Juliette****

***Someone needs to say "sore wa himitsu desu" which means, "Now that's a secret" in Japanese.**   
***Someone's eyeball needs to itch**   
***It needs to rain cats and dogs...literally...**   
***A character needs to win 2nd place in something (go 2nd place!!)**   
***It must have a plot. (YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING WITHOUT THIS!!!)**   
***It needs to be funny.**   
***Must include "Ewww.... Ron, what did you DO to my BED???"**   
***Must include purple underpants. ^^**   
***And lastly, must include a telemarketer!**

* * *

**The Long Story: How Ron Lost His Mojo** ****

**Prologue: Coffee Beans Didn't Keep Me Awake**

Dawn was steadily approaching the Hogwarts grounds. There wasn't a mouse stirring in the castle… no, not mice; but there were two certain students who were wide-awake. But not another soul! 

…Hold up! I just received an own from a certain Hermione Granger, informing me that the house elves are already up and preparing breakfast. Isn't that dandy? Thank you, Hermione! 

Severus Snape was also up, sitting in his office. I discluded him earlier because he is not necessarily a living soul. (Okay, so that was just a little cruel.) Anyway… the much-hated Potions master was unable to sleep because he had just mixed a revenge potion, which had a nasty side affect of making one's eyes itch. It was a small price to pay when thinking about the utter humiliation that McGonagall was going to suffer during her classes the next day. _That'll teach her!_

Meanwhile… Those two students who I had previously mentioned as being awake were none other than Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley. Of course, Ms. Granger has (so generously) already made her presence known. 

What are our favorite side-kicks doing up? (_a_.) Fighting, (_b_.) studying… (_c_.) snogging? Unfortunately, the answer is (_d_.) none of the above. There were really three students lounging the Gryffindor common room: Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter. Harry is presently asleep in one of the fluffier sofas; thus, he could not be on the list of conscious beings in the castle. 

This brings us back to the question of what the trio was originally doing in the common room so late, er… early? There are two correct answers: (a.) the short one, and (_b_.) the long one. Knowing me, your lovely narrator, (*_waves_*) you are going to hear the **long** version…   



	2. Astronomical Boo-Boo’s

  
** Chapter One: Astronomical Boo-Boo's**

It all started a week ago, at the beginning of the Easter break. No, it was not another Voldemort attack, but rather a pair of tickets to participate in an interactive wizarding infomercial audience, which belonged to Professor McGonagall. 

How she came in possession of them was another long and interesting story. Back in February, Professor McGonagall had promised Professor Sinistra to go along with her to the show over the upcoming holiday. It was unknown to the students, but their Astronomy professor had a knack for wizard-style infomercials and telemarketing. During the summers, she would work as a telemarketer, owling possible clients with packets of information on new wizarding products. 

Yes. Professor Sinistra had two loves. It was the other one that had landed her in the Hospital Wing for most of the rest of the term. During the new moon and the third week of March, Professor Sinistra had come up to the Astronomy tower to observe the stars, like most nights. She had carelessly forgotten the rare dangers attached to this practice during the new moon and the second week of any month with 'A' as the second letter of its name. 

It was a great shame that the poor professor had ended up that way. In essence, she was alive, but nothing more than petrified. The only known cure was a very complicated potion containing a very rare Japanese magical herb. Determined to revive his Astronomy professor, Dumbeldore went to Japan to find an Herbologist who could bring her back. 

Her name was Keiko. Her English was limited to a few words before she had taken a language potion. She only wore the most elegant Japanese robes made of silk. They were both simple and eloquently designed, conforming to her figure perfectly. She became known as an Asian Veela at Hogwarts. 

The night Keiko arrived was very memorable. Maybe it was because rain was pounding on the castle, or because Fred and George Weasley had played one of the most memorable senior pranks on the poor foreign woman. Hagrid had gone to meet Keiko at Hogsmeade station earlier in the day. It was not until halfway through dinner that a loud knock at the front doors announced his return. 

The great hall fell silence as Professors McGonagall and Dumbeldore swept down from the high table and disappeared into the great hall. A hushed whisper buzzed across the student tables. 

Professor McGonagall pulled open the doors, immediately being met by a gush of wind and rain. The glowing torches lining the hall behind her dimly lit two figures. One of the figures was no doubt, Hagrid. He was several times the size of his companion. 

"Ah, come in," Dumbledore directed. 

Hagrid gestured for his companion to enter the castle ahead of him. She gingerly stepped into the hall. Hagrid followed quickly then heaved the door shut. Setting down a suitcase, he shook his body furiously like a dog, sending the rainwater everywhere. 

"Hagrid!" cried Professor McGonagall. She looked down at her robes with a severe look of displease. 

"Sorry Professor," Hagrid said cheerfully. 

The young Japanese woman, Keiko, was as dry as if she had never set foot into the stormy night. She stuck a delicate sallow hand into her cloak, pulling out two small purple beans for Dumbledore to see, explaining how she had stayed dry. 

"Ah!" Dumbledore replied. 

"She wanted to give 'em to me," Hagrid said, regarding the beans. 

"Ah," repeated Dumbledore. "Hydro repelling beans, quite useful for nights such as these," he commented. 

"A little rain ne'er killed anyone," Hagrid stated. 

"I beg to differ," challenged Professor McGonagall. 

"That will do," Dumbeldore said sharply. He turned to Keiko and took her hand. 

"Dum-bel-dore," she enunciated, as if she had spent hours in front of a mirror trying to say it. 

And then Dumbledore did something rather strange. He began to speak fluently in Keiko's native language, Japanese. Both Hagrid and Professor McGonagall were astounded for a few seconds. There were powerful spells and potions that could enhance one's ability to pick up a foreign language. Dumbeldore has obviously done this on his two-week trip to Japan. Leave it to the most powerful wizard in the world to learn every language—human and magical. 

"Sore wa himitsu desu," she laughed. 

"What?" questioned Professor McGonagall. 

"I was just telling our guest about Professor Sinistra." 

"Er, Professor…" McGonagall responded. 

Dumbeldore held up a bony, crooked finger, signaling to give them a moment, and then began conversing in rapid Japanese again. 

A moment later, Dumbeldore turned to his teachers and spoke in English again. "Minerva, please take Ms. Keiko to the staff table and help her find something to eat. Also, inform Professor Snape that he is to bring the language potion to my office tonight." 

"Certainly, headmaster," replied McGonagall. 

"And me, sir?" Hagrid asked. 

"You have done quite a lot for our guest today, Hagrid," he replied. As they were all turning to go, Dumbledore addressed the half-giant again. "On second thought, Hagrid, would you be kind enough to take Keiko's luggage up to her room?" 

"I'd be glad 'ter help," replied Hagrid. He lifted the suitcase as if it were no heavier than a bag of feathers, and ascended up the marble staircase, quickly disappearing into the upper floors of the Hogwarts Castle. 

Dumbledore gave a rare smile, something that had been missing since Voldemort's return the previous year. The blue of his eye twinkled as he bid Keiko farewell in Japanese, and promised to see her later on. Having already finished dinner, Dumbledore set out for his office. 

"Come this way," Professor McGonagall said, forgetting that the guest spoke practically no English. The small Asian woman shook her head, she didn't understand. Her long silky black hair swayed as she did this. She was really quite a beauty. 

Unable to communicate any other way, Professor McGonagall took Keiko's hand and began dragging her toward the great hall. As they entered, the hall became pin-drop silent. There were too many pairs of eyes upon them to try and count. 

Minerva supposed that the stares were normal. Keiko reminded her of a part-veela student from France that Hogwarts had played host to for an entire year. Hogwarts students—boys would trip over themselves in the hallways when they saw her. Fleur was her name. 

Directing the woman to the high table, Professor McGonagall pointed at Professor Sinistra's empty seat, and sighed heavily. She pulled out her wand to make an announcement to the entire hall. 

Keiko looked awkwardly at the English food, not quite sure what to take, or what it would taste like. She had gone to extremes in avoiding the funny looking food on her trip from Britain. Apparating internationally beyond Asia was prohibited in Japan, so Keiko had to travel via a long-distance port key, set up in advance. The other end placed her in the Japanese Wizarding Embassy in London, England. From there, she was put on a train to Hogsmeade Village, and was picked up by the largest man she had ever seen in her life. The Western world was certainly a strange place. 

Dumbledore, as he was called, was a powerful Wizard. He offered Keiko an opportunity to work in Britain, something that was very rare for Japanese. Being a woman made Keiko's talents put to waste. All her mother had ever wanted was for her to marry a rich Wizard and take care of a family. Leaving Japan had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. And now she knew that the woman she was going to help revive was obsessed with wizarding telemarketing. What an odd secret. 

And then the older woman from the entrance began speaking loudly in English. Keiko did not understand a word of it, but could feel the burn of the young British students looking upon her. 

"…And I hope that all of you will find it in you to make our guest as welcome as you made the foreign students feel last year. Ms. Keiko will have very important work to look after this term, and it is essential that you let her do this work, to revive our dear Professor Sinistra. Mark my words… if but one of you does anything to make Ms. Keiko feel unwelcome, they will be in severe trouble. Have I made myself clear?" 

Within a few minutes, the great hall was filled with the usual buzz of conversation and clatter of fallen silverware. McGonagall and Snape excused themselves to finish preparing the language potion. 

Watching them leave, wearing identical rouge grins, were Fred and George Weasley. They turned their attentions back to Keiko, who was bewilderedly watching the enchanted ceiling. 

"I think its time to test the…" George started. 

"Say no more, my brother," laughed Fred. 

"Would you like the honor?" the other brother asked. 

"Only if you perform the…" he whispered something into George's ear. Both boys flushed a little and laughed. 

"What are you two up two?" asked Harry Potter, reaching for a basket of rolls, looking quite suspiciously upon his best friend's brothers. 

"Nothing," they said simultaneously. Harry knew that _'nothing'_ was not going on. Perhaps he was hoping for a good laugh, or just knew not to meddle with the twin's twisted gimmicks, but he let it go. He vowed to keep half an eye on them for the rest of the meal, though. 

Ten minutes later, Fred nodded his head and pulled his wand from his robes. Under the table, he pointed the wand at the ceiling and began chanting a complicated incantation. For concentration purposes, he closed his eyes. 

Making sure no one was looking, George uncovered his wand, and began whispering another spell, which clearly included the name 'Keiko.' The Gryffindors were too eagerly discussing the new guest or the upcoming Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match to notice that their two biggest troublemakers were casting powerful spells. 


	3. Where Have All The Kitties Gone?

** Chapter Two: Where Have All the Kitties Gone?**

The enchanted ceiling was a part of the great hall in such a way that the students barely paid it any heed, except when they wanted to know what the weather was going to be like in the morning, or whether to bring cloaks and gloves to a Care of Magical Creatures lesson. So when something odd happen to the ceiling, it was not one of the students who first noticed, but the Japanese lady, Keiko. She shrieked and jumped out of her seat, pointing up. 

The hall followed her finger toward the ceiling and gasped. It was no longer raining rain… it was raining cats and dogs! As if on cue, George completed his spell, and another wave of gasps were sounded from the students. For Keiko's robes were now completely see-through! Her purple underpants were exposed to everyone! 

Quickly, trying not to laugh, Fred and George performed a simple hex each on Crabbe and Goyle, who happened to be passing by. This ensured that any teacher, who checked which spells were last performed by their wand, could not find any hard evidence that they had been the ones to make cats and dogs appear to rain, or make the Japanese woman's robes see-through. Of course, no one would believe otherwise, but this might prevent another Howler from Professor McGonagall from reaching the Borrow. Anyway, cursing Crabbe and Goyle was a hobby of theirs. 

It was almost disappointing that McGonagall was not there to shriek, "Weasleys!" The poor Japanese woman was in shock, leaving her extremely vulnerable to the pointing students. What more, with the headmaster and two strictest teachers missing, none of the remaining teachers knew how to deal with the situation. 

Finally, Professor Sprout stood up and grabbed the Japanese woman with bother her arms and pulled her back into her seat. She started shouting offenses in Japanese, apparently having snapped out of shock. 

"Calm down!" Sprout insisted in vain. "Great Dumbledore, help!" she muttered. 

And then someone came bursting into the great hall, but it wasn't Dumbledore. It was none other Argus Filch. "Mrs. Norris! Mrs. Norris!" he was repeatedly shouting. The poor squib hadn't been in so much distress about his cat since it had been petrified three years ago. 

Little Professor Flitwick jumped out of his seat and ran as quickly as his little legs could carry him, to Filch. "Mr. Filch," he squeaked in an unnaturally high voice. The man ignored him, grabbed his own hair, and began to pull. 

Having no other choice, Flitwick put a calming spell on the castle caretaker. Quickly, the spell took effect, as each of Filch's bodily functions slowed down. 

At that moment, Professors McGonagall and Snape came sprinting into the hall, through the open doors. "What is the meaning of this?" McGonagall shrieked. 

Snape's eyes sliced across the room, landing directly one Fred and George's guilty faces. "It was them," he spat at McGonagall. "I keep telling you that you have to really punish them, Minerva." He crossed over the high table and set down a small cauldron. 

It was quite a while before things were sorted out. McGonagall forced Keiko to wear her cloak, and Snape forced her to take the potion. Her English began to develop in a matter of minutes. 

The only problem left was dealing with Filch. He was sitting quietly at his seat at the staff table, staring upward at the enchanted ceiling. It was no longer raining cats and dogs, as Professor Flitwick had reversed the spell. 

Keiko got up and moved to aid the quiet man who had been shouting before. She tested her language with an obvious uncertainty. "Excuse me." 

Filch looked upon her, a deep sadness in his eyes. 

"I can help?" she said. He shrugged and slumped deeper into his seat. 

"Who is Mrs. Norris?" asked Keiko, beginning to understand how to phrase English sentence. 

"His cat," replied Professor McGonagall. She was about to tell Keiko to sit down, but thought better of it. 

"Is she missing?" asked Keiko. 

Filch nodded. "Since… since," he pointed at the ceiling. 

"The cats and dogs," she said, finishing his sentence. 

"I don't see where this is going…" started Professor McGonagall. 

"Hold on, Professor," she interrupted. "Please listen for a second." McGonagall was less then thrilled to be told what to do someone a third her age. She tightened her lips and narrowed her eyes, but followed Keiko toward the center of the great hall. Keiko half led, half dragged Filch with her. 

"Where are we going?" demanded McGonagall. 

Keiko responded with a question, ignoring the original one. "How many students have cats in Hogwarts?" she asked. 

"Why… many!" 

"Get them, they must get their pets back." 

"Are you crazy?" McGonagall said, stopping in her tracks. They were three quarters across the great hall, moving toward the exit. 

"Crazy?" Keiko stopped as well. She held Filch by the hand like a small child. The affect of the calming spell was starting to wear off, and he was trying to tear away from her grip. 

"Professor McGonagall!" Flitwick came running across the floor. "All the cats and dogs have been summoned from the castle and made to rain," he gasped, massaging a stitch in his side. 

"I know." Keiko said. 

"There are no dogs in this castle," Snape said. He had with him Fred and George Weasley. Each teenager was trying to wiggle away from Snape's grasp. The Potions master held on tight to the back of their robes near the neck. 

"Professor Snape!" McGonagall shrieked angrily. "What are you doing with my students?" 

"Your students?" Snape chuckled evilly. "These two nit-wits started this whole thing." 

"My cat!" moaned Filch. 

"We'll sort this out later," McGonagall said sternly. She pulled out her wand and made another announcement to the hall. "Any student who has a cat or dog, please step forward." 

"Well, we don't," Fred chirped. 

"Yeah… we'll just go sit down," added George. 

"I think not," McGonagall said sharply. 

"Okay, or not," Fred said. Both boys stopped resisting Snape's death grip, and followed quietly as Flitwick and Keiko rushed toward the entrance hall. About twenty confused students trailed behind. 

As they approached the front doors, an odd sound was audible over the howling wind. Keiko threw open the door, and at least two dozen drenched cats leapt through the entrance. They were howling and yowling, moaning and meowing. It was quite a sight! 

The owners began calling names, "Fuzz Ball!" "Midnight! "Fluffy!" "Bu-Bu!" No reunion was as loud and emotional as that of Filch and Mrs. Norris. The cat leapt into his arms and the caretaker began to cry. 

"Crookshanks!" Hermione pulled out her wand and performed a drying spell. Harry and Ron had followed her out of the hall, to see what was going on. 

"I think he looked better wet," laughed Harry. 

Millicent Bulstrode was holding an ugly fat cat in arms as if it were a baby, which gave Hermione the shivers. She thought back to her second year when a Polyjuice potion had gone wrong, and she had partly turned into the very same cat. 

"Don't look at it," Ron said, regarding what was upsetting Hermione. Crookshanks hissed at the other cat and tried to leap out of Hermione's arms. 

Before too many students could cast drying spells on their pets, Fred and George started up a little contest. "A cat-show!" Fred declared. 

"We're the judges!" added George. 

"Weasleys!" McGonagall shouted. 

"Hold up, Professor!" But McGonagall grabbed the twins and began to yank them out of the hall. "Hermione! Crookshanks wins second place!" George shouted. 

"Second?" Harry called back. 

"Mrs. Norris wins first!" Fred explained. But his voice was smothered by McGonagall's hand being clasped over his mouth.   



	4. New Loves

** Chapter Three: New Loves**

Keiko, luckily, later found Fred and George's pranks to be somewhat clever. To Snape's immense disappointment, the boys could not be expelled. In addition, as Professor McGonagall pointed out, there was no hard proof that they had performed either of the spells. As soon as Professor Sinistra was revived, Professor Snape vowed to seek revenge on his colleague. 

A small dungeon which had been abandoned for a few centuries was reopened for Keiko and Snape to make the potion. The Asian woman spent half her time down there and the other half in a small green house growing the herb. Professor Sprout took the opportunity to learn about Japanese herbology from the talented woman. 

To Keiko, Quidditch games were wonderful. Keiko's favorite team back home was the Toyohashi Tengu. There were two major differences between English and Japanese Quidditch. The first was that in England, girls were allowed to play. The second was that the students didn't burn their brooms after losing a match, a mannerism that Keiko found especially strange. 

After a particularly exciting match between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, Keiko approached the Quidditch instructor, Madam Hooch. She was amazed to see how hospitable everyone was. Madam Hooch was more than thrilled to teach her to ride a broomstick that very afternoon! 

So it happened, Keiko became the first Japanese woman she knew to fly. She loved the feeling of the wind flowing through her hair and the sun warming her back as she zoomed around the field. She would smile, imagining what her mother would say if she saw her now. It was a freedom like she had never known before. 

Indeed, Hogwarts agreed very much with Keiko. She no longer worried about pleasing her mother by marrying a man whom she did not love. She loved the English language, and she loved Severus Snape. 

It surprised even Keiko that she could come to love the man who stood for the exact opposite of her new freedoms. Snape lived in the musty old dungeons, deep below the smiling sunshine and the fluffy clouds. He smelled of rusty cauldrons and a verity of potion ingredients. His skin was sallow from lack of sun exposure. 

It has been a strong hate that had brought the two together. In the end, it was more bitter than sweet when Keiko left. A single tear ran down her cheek as she recalled adding the final touches to the potion. 

It was going to be a week until the potion would be ready to administrate to the Astronomy professor. Having nothing else to do, Keiko visited the woman for the first time. 

Professor Sinistra lay very still. It was hard for Keiko to imagine that this was the woman who was responsible for her being there. She was going to miss Hogwarts immensely. Maybe one day she would return. Rather than a single tear dropping down her face, she began to openly cry. 

Before anyone could see her, Keiko fled from the Hospital Wing. She could barely see where she was going, for her hands were covering her face. As luck had it, she smacked right into Professor McGonagall. 

The Transfiguration teacher grabbed her shoulders. "Keiko, are you all right?" She held the Asian woman awkwardly; she was bad with emotional situations. 

"I don't want to leave," Keiko sobbed into Minerva's shoulder. 

"Perhaps the headmaster will allow you to stay in Hogwarts for the rest of the term." But the young woman continued to cry, and Professor McGonagall continued to stand there awkwardly holding her. 

Luckily, it was the beginning of Easter break, and there were very few students in the castle who might stumble upon them. Once Keiko's whaling was down to a few tears, Professor McGonagall moved her into her office, where that small chance would become zero. 

"Are you all right?" Minerva asked, handing her a tissue. 

Keiko blew hard into the tissue. The tissues were charmed to absorb snot, guaranteeing that they would never become dirty. After a few minutes, Keiko settled down enough to put down the tissue and talk. "I'll be all right," she said. 

Professor McGonagall sat rigidly behind her desk, trying to think of something comforting to say. She wasn't sure why, but she decided to invite the young woman to attend to the live infomercial the following day. It seemed fair enough that she take Professor Sinistra's place, as she had already done so in the castle. 

"Infomercial?" Keiko repeated. "How odd." 

"I agree," Minerva sighed. 

"Tell me about Professor Sinistra, Professor." That was how it happened that the two women became friends. They sat there discussing first the petrified Astronomy professor, then everything from Quidditch to grading policies. There formed an odd relationship between them in those hours.   
  



	5. Infomercials

** Chapter Four: Infomercials**

The next morning, they set out at 10 to Hogsmeade Square. There were a few dozen benches set up for spectators. It was a warm and sunny day, and both women would have liked to be anywhere but at a wizarding infomercial. 

A middle-aged man stepped into the small arena with two younger women. The women wheeled out a cart with some bottles, obviously the products. 

"Good afternoon!" cried out the man. The crowed returned the call cheerfully. "How are we all doing on this lovely day?" the man questions. 

"Great!" replied the audience. 

"Wonderful, wonderful," exclaimed the man. "My name is Shay Frado and these are my lovely assistants for the day, Natania Melby and Patricia Carda." 

"Jeez, I remember Patricia," whispered McGonagall. Poor girl, was still trying to transfigure her match into a needle in her seventh year." Keiko gave her a meaningful look, but remained silent, for Shay Frado was opening a large jar. 

"This, my friends, is the most brilliant potions ever created." The crowed Ooh'd and Ah'ed. Shay nodded at the blond assistant. "Natania, please distribute the pamphlets." 

"Certainly," she smiled. Natania removed a wand from a pocket on her lilac robes. She pointed it at a stack of papers on the cart and slowly began flicking it toward the crowed. The papers flew straight into the audiences' hands. 

**_Lemon Balm Cleaner Concentrate_**

> _Lemon Balm Clean Super Concentrate is a natural multi-purpose and degreaser that can be diluted into a variety of strengths. It can be applied to virtually any surface, from tabletops, to cooking pots, and even the dirtiest cauldrons! The best part about it, besides the fact that it works, is the fresh lemon scent that it leaves behind. Quite a difference from the regular multi-purpose wizarding cleaners that merely cover up harsh potion smells with bad perfumes. The main ingredient in Lemon Balm Clean Concentrate is citric lemon and Echinacea oil for strength, which is a natural solvent. With Lemon Balm Clean Super Concentrate, a little goes a long way, and you won't have to use several different cleaners to clean one house. Lemon Balm Clean does it all!_

  
Shay and his assistants spent the next twenty minutes cleaning a verity of dirty cauldrons with their Lemon Balm Cleaner. Both Professor McGonagall and Keiko were falling asleep in their seats. Then the brunette assistant, Patricia called Professor McGonagall to come and demonstrate the product. 

"Me?" McGonagall responded, surprised. 

"Yes, Professor," replied Patricia. 

"Go on," Keiko urged. 

"A round of applause for our new guest!" exclaimed Shay. The crowed applauded as Minerva made her way down to the small arena. "And what is your name?" he asked. 

"Professor McGonagall," Minerva replied, looking as if she'd swallowed a bottle of Lemon Balm Cleaner Concentrate herself. 

"Ah! A professor!" Shay exclaimed. 

"From Hogwarts," Patricia added. 

"Ah! A colleague of Annie's?" asked Shay. 

"If you mean, perhaps, Professor Sinistra, then yes." 

"Of course, Ms. Sinistra is a dear friend. How is she? It was most unfortunate that she could not make it here today," replied Shay. He squinted into the sun to make sure that Professor Sinistra was not really there. Usually she was an eager volunteer, so her presence was hard to go unnoticed. 

"Dear me, the poor woman has been petrified for over a month," Minerva replied. 

"NO!" gasped Shay. 

Their pointless conversation went on for quite some time, when Shay finally asked Professor McGonagall to clean a cauldron for him. She demanded her Herbologist friend, Keiko help, and thus both women spent ten minutes scrubbing an oversized pot. 

"Can we leave after this?" Keiko whispered. 

"Most definitely," Minerva replied. Her whole arms ached, and she suddenly found great potential in marking essays. 

The women couldn't escape Hogsmeade Square until they both received hats saying Shay & Co. Once they'd reached the Hogwarts grounds, they started giggling like twelve-year-olds. 

"I'm sure I haven't done that in years!" exclaimed Minerva. 

"Laughing cleanses the soul," replied the younger woman. 

"I dearly hope that it cleanses better than that lemon stuff did on that poor cauldron!" They had another wave of hysterical fits, and soon found themselves sprawled in the grass. 

Three students who had opted not to go home for the Holidays were returning to the castle after spending the late morning and early afternoon at Hagrid's Hut. Harry, Ron and Hermione were enjoying some of the nicest weather in months. Hermione was in a particularly good mood, considering how hard she had been studying for the upcoming OWL's. 

When the three friends stumbled upon their normally upright and aging transfiguration professor laughing on the ground with their long-term Japanese guest, they were shocked. It was quite an embarrassing situation for Minerva, who immediately stood up and straightened up out robes. 

Keiko, on the other hand, kept on laughing. She had developed dimples from constantly smiling in the last month. Soon the three young students were laughing their heads off as if someone had just cast extra concentrated cheering charms on them.   



	6. The Short Story

**Chapter Five: The Short Story**

Over the next few days, Ron and Harry had fun making up theories as to what might have posessed Professor McGonagall to become so suddenly hysterical. That is where our story comes toward its end. 

The night before tonight, using Harry's invisibility cloak, Harry and Ron crept into Hermione's dormitory at midnight. Harry stood guard as Ron slipped out of the cloak, and began dumping paint all over Hermione and her bed. It was not regular paint, or at least that was what Fred and George had said when they sold it to him for four sickles. 

The paint was supposed to disappear in an hour or less, as if it had never been there. Hermione woke up shrieking, which had been part of the plan. 

"Ewww.... Ron, what did you DO to my BED???" Hermione leapt out of bed and looked at the neon pink mess. Crookshanks leapt off as well, completely covered in the stuff. 

Laughing their heads off, Harry and Ron led Hermione down to the common room. It had been quite a while since the three had sat down and talked and laughed together. Hermione spent all her free time studying for OWL's, which left Harry and Ron without their third friend. 

Harry snuck down to the kitchens to get some marshmallows and butterbear. When he returned, Hermione was asleep with her head on Ron's shoulder. Ron turned a little pink when Harry pulled off the cloak, but greatfully accepted some treats. 

The next morning, Hermione woke still covered in paint. "Weasley! I thought you said this stuff disappears!" she shrieked at Ron, who was snoring beside her. 

"Huh.. WHAT!!!!" 

"This paint, Ron!" 

Harry stirred in the sofa across from them. "Hermione… its six!" he said grogily. 

Hermione stormed off to her dormitory and came back shrieking. "It's not gone Weasley! Look what you did to my bed Weasley! Come and see what you did!" 

"Be quiet!" Ron hissed. The last thing he needed was the entire of Gryffindor waking up. 

Hermione shut-up on one condition: they sleep with her in the common room until it was cleaned up. 

That explains why Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were camped out in the Gryffindor common room. Now why were they up near dawn? 

Fred and George, after hearing where the fifth years were going to be sleeping, planned a silent attack at midnight. They found Hermione and Ron sleeping and cuddling in such a way that it was impossible to resist casting a spell on them. Unfortunately, it was a bugle spell. It sounded like a trumpet in their ears, and made it impossible for them to go back to sleep that night. 

And that, my friends, was the long story. The moral? _Umm…_ "Let sleeping ronniekins lie" 

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A/N: YAY!!! OVER!!! I have no idea what the end means, but Mandy thought it was funny. I am soooo happy this is over. Please review! Thank you... ~Juliette 

P.S. THANKYOU TO [METMA MANDY][1] FOR BETA-READING FOR ME!!!!!! (happy now, Mandy?) 

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_Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns most everything. I own the (coughs) plot. Mandy owns METMA. If you want to join, email Leven5@aol.com_

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/metmamandy/



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